You know how people say when you are dying, your life flashes before your eyes? Well, I don't think I'm dying or anything, but with all the crap that's been going on I welcome death. I had a dream the other night. He was in it. I haven't had thoughts about him since August. We were older. And I looked so happy. It wasn't a fake happy, but a genuine euphoria to be alive, and with the man I love. I don't know why I can't get over him. I don't know why he's still on my mind... But maybe I don't want him to go? He gives me hope. Hope that one day I'll know those feelings of euphoria.
Love,
Confusion. Exhaustion. Drugs. Sadness. Loss
