Four words

All. Hope. Is. Lost.

Stripy tights and tutus

Have you ever gotten up in the morning and felt this extreme flood of happiness? Well I have, and I did this morning. I'm so excited for the Journey tribute tonight, it's Friday, I cut a Mickey Mouse shirt and I LOVE it !! And I don't know, maybe it just one of those days that you have convinced yourself that nothing will get you down! I don't know how long this will last, but honestly? I don't care!! I found the perfect playlist, some pink lipstick,  I have my my beanie on and my earphones in. I'm ready to take on this Friday so who's with me!?
Love,
my unknown reasons for being happy, but i dont care because this is rare and i also doesn't know who i am talking to but i also don't  care

Lost

I can't tell if I'm happy. Nothing bad happened. No one did anything to me, but I keep getting these waves of unhappiness that come of as anger. I can't handle my emotions right now and it's really bothersome. This morning I woke up feeling lost. Almost as if someone else was living my life without me. I had a dream last night, but I can't remember what it was. I know it was important because I've felt empty all day. I know that my dream could have even been a vision. Possibly even a message from God? I can feel myself changing day to day, but I'm not sure i like the person I'm becoming. Since starting JFK, I've noticed that I've had to bite my tongue a lot and sometimes even be fake to make friends, but is that who I want I to be? Who am I trying to impress? What am I doing? Why should it matter who I talk to? Honestly as long as I've got my best friend by my side, I'm good. Why am I all of a sudden questioning things that I've so frequently overlooked in the past? This is bothering me

Love, 

My broken internal compass

Goodbye Summer!!

Goodbye summer! It's been grand! From saving lives in Boston to livin it up with my best friend, this summer has been great! It's obviously had its ups and downs, but that's expected right? Tomorrow I start at a new school!! I'm so anxious that I can't even sleep, it's ridiculous. I'm just happy I'll have my hero by my side! I know we will kick butt this year and I can't wait. I won't make this too long because I should be getting to bed, but I just want to take this time to thank my best friend for telling me about this opportunity, thank my parents for allowing it, and thank God for giving me the ability to make my dreams come true. Until next time!!!
Love,
My first day of school jitters

Clarification

Okay y'all, yesterday something was said that really hit a nerve with me. So this year I am changing schools, I'm leaving behind people that I've known as long as 6 years! I'm leaving this school because I feel that I could be more successful somewhere else. Im not leaving to follow my best friend and I'm not leaving because I hate the school. I'm a big girl and I make big girl decisions so that I can get to where I want and be successful In life. I love my best friend! She means a lot to me, but I don't make decisions for her, and she doesn't make decisions for me. That's all!
Love,
My frustrations

Shunned

Today has been pretty crappy to say the least. I yelled at my mom today. Here's why: My family like shunned my grandmas sister for all this psychotic crap that she's done that I don't know about nor do I want to know. But I just remember her always taking care of me and truly loving me. And she wants to see me and I want to see her and my mom keeps giving me reasons why I can't and I just literally snapped and talked back to my mom for the first time !
Mom: do you even know what she did? To grandma grandpa dad and me?
Me: no and I don't want to know!
Mom: so you don't care?
Me: mom it's not that I don't care. I just don't want to know because it'll ruin my image of her
Mom: and what is that image?
Me: SOMEONE THAT ACTUALLY LOVED ME SO CAN WE DROP IT?!
Mom: fine, I won't tell you
I'm having bad thoughts that I can't come to terms with. Wouldn't you like to know my bad thought