Five Words

Yesterday, I felt like my body was being run over by a steam roller and my throat felt like fire ants were running through it. My kidneys were hurting and my muscles felt tense. When I got home from school, my body was still throbbing and my head felt like it was on the verge of exploding. I walked to my room and rinsed my face. I felt myself cough, and I saw blood in the sink. I walked to my moms room and I heard myself tell her that I didn't feel well. She asked for my symptoms, and told me to go take Motrin. When I got to the medicine cabinet, my hand hovered over the Motrin. Instead of taking that, I grabbed 2 muscle relaxers. I threw my phone on the nightstand and waited for the drugs to kick in. I looked over to the clock and it glowed 6:30. My parents were watching "Dateline" from the couch. I was half listening to the case, but I knew that the one being convicted was innocent. What a waste. After a while, my eyelids were getting heavy, and I felt my body slip away. Is this what death feels like? I didn't feel myself dream. All I could feel was darkness and silence. It felt so good, euphoric. I was in my happy place. By the end, I had to will myself to wake up. I had to open my eyes dammit. I was fighting myself because this amazing darkness just felt so good! When I opened my eyes, the clock glowed 11:36. I had slept 17 hours! When I grabbed my phone, I saw a lot of notifications: missed calls, snapchats, texts, Pinterest alerts. I opened a text and I read the five words on the screen: I feel like giving up. I felt the exact same way. I didn't know how to reply and I felt like absolute crap because I didn't know how to help. I've thought those five words before, and even at that moment I heard them echo through my mind...