I lay in the darkness with my hand clenched tight. I lay in the darkness with my legs held tight. I wrap up in the warm blanket despite the 75 degree California "Autumn" weather. She's gone now. Off to follow dreams and spread her wings to be who we always knew she'd be. He's off in the trees achieving things we knew he'd achieve. And then there's me. Home from an adventure that ended abruptly due to the darkness we don't discuss... You remember? The sadness and such. But that's not me. I'm not her. That's the shit that only comes in the night. It creeps it's way in to tell you all the things you truly feel. Deep deep down. Because when you're over there putting their oxygen mask on as the plane is going down... You're the one that's dying. While you're cheering for their team and applauding their win, you're still on the bench begging coach to let you in.
So when? When is my time to shine? When can I break free of the bullshit that is keeping me down? I left one hell to enter another and yet here we are. Back to square one. What makes her happy? Why is she so ungrateful? Why is she still here? Maybe if we'd have gone through with it a while ago things would be different? But we don't think like that do we? No. We would never
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