Suffocation

Twisted. Contorted. Belittled. Dehumanized. That is how I feel right now. You can see my heart beating. Pounding as if it is about to leap right through my chest. It's running. Racing. My face is warm. My palms are sweating. My hands are shaking. The tears are begging to be released. My throat is constricted and feels as if a hot iron has been shoved down it. My brain is on the verge of exploding and I need to get out. Everywhere I turn I'm trapped. I'm stuck in this thing called life. And if I end it I am "selfish" I feel conflicted. "Stuck between a rock and a hard place" who do I call on? No one would hear me. No one is here to listen. Only to judge. And ready to consume me in their words of hate. I can only be me. And I'm trying the best I can! But every time i look up my words are twisted. The evil glares burn through my soul. The lies and the deceit are everywhere. Your empty "I love you"s and the "oh you are so pretty"s must stop. But please hear me when I say I'm done. I'm done with the lies and the hurt. And you twisting my words. Don't treat me like a child or I will act like one. And please hear me when I say. Those scars on my wrist aren't from falling.
Love,
A girl who'd "rather feel pain than nothing at all"