With you on my mind

So, I'm laying here with him on my mind. I'm sleepy but my eyes won't shut and my mind won't rest! All I see are pages and pages of our messages. I can see your face and your smile and just you. Me. Us. Why are you always on my mind!? Why do I feel this way about you? Who are you? Who am I? All of these questions remain unanswered. But at the moment I'm torn. Torn between the decision of letting this (whatever this is) go on and ending it. I have real feelings for you. You are constantly on my mind and you are always in my dreams. Why am I so crazy about you? I don't like teasing myself with things I can't have. You are the chocolate cake when I'm on a diet. You're the cookie that is just out of my reach. You're my Ferrari.Why do I have these feelings for you? Why am I under your spell? Please God explain to me what I have done to deserve this? For 3 years I have been asking "if it be your will, please send me someone that I can spend the rest of my life with. Send me someone special so that I won't fall into the footsteps of so many others" but you sent me him. You sent me him an he's so far away! Hundreds of thousands of miles away! And I can't have him.